Five things not to do at a water park

(The following post is a bit of a departure for this blog, but I thought it would be fun for summer. Enjoy!)

We were pressing our luck. I said as much to Jenifer, my best friend and partner-in-crime as we relaxed in the wave pool at the super, mega water park last summer. We watched our kids swim and play. The scene was idyllic—a perfect way to end the summer. Too perfect, I thought.

“Maybe we should quit while we are ahead,” I said with worry in my voice, referring to our trip to a smaller, older water park just weeks before. It went off without a hitch. “I hate to be superstitious, but since everything went so well last time, everything might go wrong today.”

“We’ll have a great time!” she said, smiling and waving away my worries. But I could see her smile fade a bit as she considered the same idea. “We’ll get through this,” she said, through gritted teeth.

We got through it, but barely. Murphy’s Law was in full effect that day. Whatever could go wrong, did—we were separated from my daughter in the rapids, her bikini top broke, the hot pavement burned our feet to crisps, our entire group was separated AGAIN from each other in the rapids and my daughter lost her precious earring (she made me put that one in). Mostly, it was a fun-filled, water-filled day, punctuated by moments of annoyance and unrelenting terror. OK, so I am exaggerating…a little.

So when Jenifer suggested we visit a water park together again this summer, I gave her the, “are you crazy” look for which I am famous. But then I relented. Maybe it will be different this time.

Based on last year’s experiences, here’s what I learned not to do when you go to a water park with young children. Learn from me and don’t:

Anticipate a relaxing time. The idea of a water park always sounds fun, but make no mistake, it is work. I always forget this when making plans. In my active imagination, I envision frolicking in the water with my children—smiles on our faces, love in our hearts. Don’t get me wrong, we do have fun. But the reality is that a day at the water park is hot; food is expensive; and kids (and adults) get tired. After a couple of hours, my children tend to have three moods: hungry, tired and whiny, and I have one: irritated. So bring lots of snacks and drinks and take frequent breaks to keep the little monsters, er, children, happy.

Skimp on water shoes. When I found some cheap water shoes at our local superstore, I thought I scored. We had to have the shoes to protect our tender feet, of course. They were a must! I continued to brag about what a great deal they were until, like two determined (or was it drunken?) salmon, we began to struggle against the current of the rapids. Then I slipped. Jenifer slipped. The kids slipped. Over and over again, like a Three Stooges banana gag on repeat. “It’s the water shoes!” I cried to my panicked friend. “The shoes!” But it was too late. Suddenly, the whole gang was swept into the current and into the violent foam of the not-so-lazy river—sold down the river, that is, for a cheap pair of water shoes.

Wear your cute swimsuit. This is not the time to think of fashion. Get out the mommy suit and wear it proudly, unless you like that extra exposure that comes from losing your top after sliding down that mega slide and hitting the water at 1,000 miles per hour. I didn’t think so. Oh, and did I mention having to haul your middle age behind into a fast-moving tube on a conveyor belt? And missing the tube? And stopping the line because you missed your tube? And the laughing? Always the laughing…

Lose your child in a water park...and expect anyone to help. Yes, I admit it. We lost our children in the water park. Actually, I lost mine twice. What of it? I blame the water shoes. All I know is don’t expect any of the lifeguards to act concerned when you swim across the rapids to let them know your child is missing/possibly drowned/kidnapped and sold into slavery. And definitely don’t expect them to alert others on their walkie-talkies—because they have none. Don’t worry though. The lifeguards are professionals and will comfort you with assurances that kids go missing “all the time” and that you will “probably” find them at the customer service booth. At least nine times out of ten.

Make eye contact with the creepily smiling family at the next table. Eventually we did find our kids (yes, they were at the customer service booth), and our reunion was a perfect storm of emotions. In the middle of all the shouting, crying, hugging, relief and despair--I felt a strange sensation, like I was being watched. I turned and found an entire family staring at us—smiling gleefully at our spectacle. I gave them my best, “I hope you are enjoying the show,” glare, grabbed the kids and our stuff, and high tailed it out of there. That will teach ’em for being so…happy.

Well, those are my tips. Wish us luck on our next trip! Do you have any water park stories to share?

Before you reach for that energy drink...

Coffee is my go-to drink when I need a little pick me up to get  through a writing assignment (or a craft-intensive Brownie meeting). There's nothing I like better than sipping on a hot cup of Joe, doctored up with plenty of cream, of course. I may switch to Diet Coke in the afternoons, but I am pretty old-school when it comes to my drinkable energy. And usually one or two cups a day are enough for me, or I am a jittery, irritable mess. But I know many folks prefer energy drinks and energy shots for a quick jolt of energy. I have always shied away from them, because I didn't know exactly what was in them (mostly lots of caffeine, herbal ingredients and other stimulants). And the drinks' aggressive sounding names like "Monster," "Red Bull," and "Full Throttle," just turned me off. Seeing as how energy drinks are marketed mostly to people between the ages of 21 and 35, maybe I was being an old-fashioned fuddy duddy.

Maybe not.

The FDA is investigating reports of five deaths that may be associated with the Monster energy drink. Monster is also being sued by the family of a 14-year-old girl with a heart condition who died after drinking two cans of Monster in a 24-hour period. Also, New York’s attorney general is investigating the energy drink industry.

Investigations are ongoing as to what caused the deaths linked to Monster. However, experts single out caffeine as the problematic ingredient in energy drinks. On average, energy drinks contain about 70 milligrams of caffeine per eight-ounce serving. In comparison, an eight-ounce cup of coffee contains an average of 100 milligrams of caffeine, and soft drinks have about 24 milligrams of caffeine. However, cans of energy drinks often contain more than one serving and caffeine content varies widely—with some brands containing three times the caffeine as others. The American Academy of Nutrition and Dietetics recommends adults consume less than 300 milligrams of caffeine daily.

In moderation, caffeine is not harmful and recent studies show it may actually have some health benefits. The problem is that caffeine affects everyone differently, so some people are more sensitive to it than others (like me).

Read more about energy drinks in my latest article for UT HealthLeader.

Fighting the flu

Did you get your flu shot yet? I usually like to get everyone in my family vaccinated as soon as the shots or flu mist come out, in late September or early October. But this year we were delayed by some particularly bad chest colds, and needed our entire immune systems fighting the bad bugs messing with our lungs. We finally got our flu vaccinations a couple of weeks ago. Now is the time to get vaccinated, says UTHealth infectious disease expert Luis Ostrosky-Zeichner, M.D., in my latest article for UT HealthLeader. Ostrosky says to get vaccinated for the flu as early as possible, because it takes two to three weeks to build up immunity to the influenza virus.

So far, flu activity has been light, he adds, but that could change. While the flu season can begin as early as October, it usually peaks in the United States in January or February and can continue as late as May. And infectious disease experts are closely watching a new strain of swine flu called H3N2v that has infected people in close contact with pigs at state fairs in the Midwest, killing one person and hospitalizing at least 16. While there has been some person to person spread of the virus, a widespread outbreak has not occurred.

Don’t like shots? Healthy people who are between the ages of 2 and 49, can opt for the flu mist--a live-attenuated (weakened, but alive) vaccine administered through a nasal spray. Needless to say, both of my shot-hating kids opted to get their “flu sniffs,” as they nicknamed the mist.

Now, I don’t like shots any more than my kids, but the shot cost half what the flu mist cost. So I gritted my teeth, rolled up my sleeve and braced myself for a good, old fashioned flu shot.

Ouch!

“Did it hurt mommy?” my kids inquired as the nurse put a SpongeBob bandage on my upper arm (my pediatrician’s office offered parents the vaccine).

“No, it was just a little pinch,” I said, letting out my breath. “Not bad at all!”

Yeah, right. Next year, mommy wants flu sniffs!